At the Crossroads with no way to go.....

Wow, you wake up one morning and there it is life has passed you by. You have worked your butt off raising your kids making sure you be a great mother, an awesome sister, a grateful daughter, a caring friend (and getting messed over and lied on in the end, an ambitious entrepreneur and a thankful woman of God (if nothing else). But for some reason nothing has gone right in the past few years, what happen, what did you do that was so wrong? These are questions I ask myself all the time now. In the past year my life has changed and took me on a new world -wind.
For some reason lately I’ve been hearing you look good for your age. When did I get “that age”? A few years ago I took a vow to take control of my life, I was getting a bit out of control with my bad habits. I have grown and learned so much since then but now it seems no matter how much effort I put in my situation it is headed no where. God and I have mapped the perfect plan for my life the only problem is I cant reach life’s petal to take off, I come up short in everything. I feel as if I have a real black cloud hanging over my head and the ironic thing is I love the rain. I grew up in church and although I have backslide a time or few I have still been able to grow closer to God. I put Him first in everything I do. From the plan we have set for my life I have really turned a new cheek. I learned to laugh in spite the pain of more bad news, it helps me a lot, especially since I get bad news every other day. Every now and then I break down and wish I was able to get back time and change some of the decisions I made but truth of the matter is I cant and I must face that everyday.
Everything always go wrong with me, a person cant even feel bad for me its like my case is hopeless. I see the light at the end of my journey but I cant seem to reach the never ending road. I’m on the verge of accepting that I will never be truly happy in my life time. But my faith in God is so strong I can’t let go of my prayers, hopes, wishes, and dreams. I’m at my crossroads which way do I go? I use to say the devil is trying to push my limits and crack me but that’s not it this test is also to build my endurance and only God gives you boot camp of life that gives you what you need to win the battle. How long can I survive being held under water before I grow gills or give up the struggle. My mother reminds me all the time I use to brag about having a hugh family when I was younger, now a days it seems any say I have over my life never come true. How can I regain that confidence I had when I was growing up. I blacking in and out because my gills still haven’t grew in and I’m getting weaker day by day. The only thing I want out of life is to be happy but the price I’m paying to achieve that my be a bit out of my budget.
I’m currently at the bottom, I hear all the time “there’s no where to go but up” then with my bad luck I just better pray the bottom don’t fall from under me.
Pray for me and I’ll pray for s all…………..

Turning Point

One day you lay down and you dream of everything you ever hoped for all in your grasp. When u wake up you lay there and reflect wishing you could have dreamed a little longer. Yes I do it too. But what I have come to grips with is my victory is already won. So many changes has taken place since my last blog but the main thing is I'm alive and happy. A lot of great clients has come my way a lot of friendships has ended but at the end of the day I'm happy.
Event Planning and PR is my main source of income and everything else I do is to help others but the funny thing is in the blueprint that GOD and I have for me those other things aren't my concern. Sometime to move on you must let go. I never want to hurt anyone or make anyone feel used, I need people for my business to be successful but I don't need people to drain me of all that I have to offer. And its the same way with you. Instead of waking up from those wonderful dreams wishing to return to dream world wake up and get up, tell urself this is the day I make my dreams my reality. No one is stoppin you but you. Step out on faith GOD is there to catch you if you fall. By the way its okay to fall because you get to see people for who they really are. GOD is going to pick you back up but notice the people that stepped over and around you. There are some good people in this world true and if you waste your time looking for them one day your going to wake up from that woderful dream and find out that your moment has passed you by. Its time to take a stand its time to turn the tables........When will you let all of your dreams true?

OKAY 2010 HERE WE GO!!!

My New Year didn't start off so hot. A couple of different problems accured and in a back to back order. I have set back the last few months to really get my personal and business life in order. With GoD and the blueprinted we have came up with for me I really feel that all my stars are in line. The only thing that makes this hard is having to shoot for my goals in front of everyone; my kids, my sisters, my mom, my dad, my entire family, all my close friend that depend on me, my artist, the people that don't want to see me make it (hi haters) , and people I don't even know. But this is why I needed to get my faith strenth at its highest. Most people in the business don't care that your a person they just look at you as a stepping stone in their career path. Which I can understand why they feel that way. Must people in this industry feel that way so they do their business with people they don't connect with and 8 times out of 10 someone is going to get fucked. That's why I have to know and trust anyone I'm doing business with. I didn't plan for my blueprint to be in line with the new year it just happened that way but I'm now okay with it, things really feel brand new. I'm not perfect but its okay because no one is but I am a great person, mom, child, sister, aunt, friend and business woman. I know I will run into those people that are here to make only their life better but I still hope I can help them without them sucking all the life out of me. I'm here to help people so I'm okay with it. We, as an industry need to get back to when we supported each other not just being here with their hands out.
If your still in your planning stage that's okay don't rush your blueplans because you feel that your being passed up because if the people you surround yourself with really want to help and support you they will wait untill your ready. I have never been so scared and over joyed at the same time in my life. But if this is what success feels like I can get use to the feeling and so can you. Stay stong in faith and your dreams will come true and u can come see me, I will help u make them come true...... Mmuhh XOXO!!!!

2010

Every New Year I here people say what they are going to do different and watch as they fail or give up or give in. I never wanted to be that person so the new year for me was just the new year. For 2010 i'm changing that... my life starts over and i just have to pray for the best. I know i wont give up cause this is my life and i promise to never give in cause i have too many people depending on me. I will always do my best matters the year the day the month or the time. You dont have to wait until the new year to do your best start now start tomorrow but dont do it for the wrong reasons do it for you. Life is short live it to the fullest dont let anyone live it for you. MMMMUUUHHHH love yourself !!!!!!!

supermom

Over the weekend was my little princess maggie b day and we did it big cause she never had a huge party cause her b day is so close to christmas but my boys have. After I bought all their christmas gifts by myself I told their dad he would have to help pay for Maggie parties and other stuff; he said ok he could only give 150 I didn't trip I said ok and rebudgeted everything the day before he had to pay for it he bought dinner for his kids and said that was part of her b day money I still didn't trip the next day we go to wally world (walmart) and I told him to get her a gift and that can be out the money too cause I got all her gifts and he didn't get her anything we spent 40 and he went left on me and didn't want to give no more money. The point is sometime you have to face the fact that just because someone is supppose to do their job don't mean that they will and if their job have anything to do with you always have a plan b.

And it was hard

Well court didnt go well. We were hoping he got parole but the judge gave him 5 years. It was a lot for me to watch them take my little cousin who is more like my lilttle brother be hauled off like that. It seems like the closer I get to GOD the more and more problems I have but funny thing is it made me understand "Praise will confuse the enemy". I still have a lot to be thankful for so I cant let these meaningless humps in the road get me down and distract me away from my goals. If you really want something even if no one else can see your vision and the odds are against you if its in his will there is nothing anyone can do to take that from you. I love you but GOD loves you more then you love yourself.
When you feeling down or like no one is there think of me. XOXO MsTonga

Life happens when your living

Today I have to go to court to help my little cousin out of some deep trouble in got into. He has never really been in this kind of thing so its really hard for our family but with GOD on our side we are going to make it.
Sometime to most funny thing happen when your living ; LIFE. You can't run or hide from it, its always with you waiting for your next move and choice in life. We all hit ruff patches in life but what makes it bad is the choices you make to make the situation better. We will not always get everything we want in life so why harp on what you can't change. I am truly too blessed to be stressed and really so are you.

The group I manage have 3 shows this weekend and they are major cause they all lead to something even better.... be sure to SUPPORT C.H.B (Cauzin Havoc) "Good On My Toes" (I DO IT), "Wear That Ass Out" and "Hit Tha Lotto" look for it and request it at your local radio station and DJ.

I love you but God loves you first.